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Firefly Ep. 3: Our Mrs. Reynolds

I just finished watching Episode 3 of the show I love to tear open, Firefly. In this episode, the beloved crew of Serenity take on a castaway named Saffron who ends up proclaiming herself as Mal’s wife because of some baroque ritual on her planet that he participated in, ignorant of its deeper meaning. If this sounds familiar, congratulations! You have a passing familiarity with a lot of really bad one-off episodes of a lot of mediocre sitcoms!

In all honesty, this episode was a fair deal better than the first two. It’s still barely passable and nowhere near the critical acclaim it has been handed, but we’re working toward almost being…respectable! That’d be a milestone that ol’ Jossie-boy has yet to earn from me. I’ve hated everything to ever come out of this bonehead’s noggin.

A lot of what redeems this episode is guest star Christina Hendricks, who plays Saffron. You might know her as the sassy broad from Mad Men. Her acting is phenomenal, she is a hell of a lot more believable than 90% of the cast, and she’s just downright awesome toward the end. I won’t spoil what she does to earn this, but trust me: it’s something I’ve been looking forward to for a long time.

I’m usually not one to pick on poor pacing, but for fuck’s sake: we are three episodes in and there is still not an overarching plot narrative to be found, or even a hint of one. Now, I admit, I love a lot of anime where the themes of the main narrative take several episodes to be revealed, but those are half-hour shows with a great deal of action and fun to keep everything interesting. Here, the only interesting things are Christina Hendricks’ boobs, and I’m sorry: they aren’t enough to carry an entire episode (though not for lack of ampleness).

Wherever a true plot narrative might be uncovered, we’re left with naught but confusion and poor writing. I think I am getting closer to the identity of the “Companion” chick (should have figured Whedon would make an interstellar whore character!), but I’ll be damned if I can remember her name, or why she’s on the ship, or even what her deal is. Besides that, there’s really nowhere for this season to go. There’s nothing that happens that lasts from episode to episode. There’s no reason to pay close attention to each episode. Everything is status quo from the beginning. For a supposed drama, going nowhere and expecting your audience to stay motivated to follow along is a sizable bill of goods.

Whedon’s author filibusters have been some of the most egregious in the entirety of modern Western fiction, and they are no better here. Mal is Whedon’s Gary Stu, and it shows through the very atheist/feminist views this supposedly battle-hardened captain spews on a regular basis. And I’m not saying there’s anything at all wrong with being a feminist or questioning the existence of a Supreme Being, but it sounds very tacky and out of place for characters in a science fiction show to preach controversial social commentary. Call me old-fashioned.

Anyway, back to my specific nags with this episode. I called the plot twist about ten minutes in, and I wasn’t the least bit surprised when it turned out that I was vindicated twenty minutes later. After a while of watching Whedon, you start to get a feel for how his creative mind works. Jossie-boy is a fan of the trite, the familiar, the ever-so-subtle hijack of themes from other, better forms of media. As soon as you realize that, you can pretty much call him out anytime.

Another actor from this show that is starting to become very good is Alan Tudyk, who plays the pilot. Again, this show is nowhere near compelling enough for me to start remembering names, so don’t ask. He’s still a little hammy, but he looks like Humphrey Bogart compared to the over-the-top, commercial-grade cheese of Jewel Staite and the Baldwinmeister.

So, that’s about all I’ve got. This series is starting to kill brain cells, so I think the next episode needs to wait a week. Stay tuned: something tells me we’re nearing some good old-fashioned badness to sink our teeth into.

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