Home > Rants, Reviews, Television > Firefly: The Full-Time Gamer Blogs!

Firefly: The Full-Time Gamer Blogs!

OK, so I sat through the first episode of Joss Whedon’s critically acclaimed sci-fi western shenanigan named Firefly.

Let’s just say that there are a few very good reasons why this silly show never caught on the way that Whedon’s previous creation, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, did. The casting decisions are terrible. Adam Baldwin’s a hack. The characters (supposedly the selling point of this shipwreck) are two-dimensional cardboard cutouts that make Legend of the Seeker‘s cardboard cutouts look like the cast of a fucking Shakespearean tragedy in comparison. The acting is either way too over-the-top or not nearly emphatic enough to hold scenes together. The special effects are not only intrusive, but below-average for something made in the last decade. Adam Baldwin’s a hack. The silly “sci-fi spaghetti western” motif gets really played-out at about the thirty-five minute mark of the first episode. The convenience of several illogical plot holes is just unbelievable. Adam Baldwin’s a hack.

There’s some stuff to be positive about. The outdoor sets are pretty except when they’re blighted with CG that looks like something out of a Linkara video. Nathan Fillion is the main protagonist and leader of this supposedly effective crew of sarcastic, bullying bigots onboard the Serenity. He’s a good actor, and he turns in a fine performance here, but he’s one of many victims of piss-poor casting. His unconventional looks and mannerisms make him look a little too meek and unassuming for me to believe that he can unite these people who seem all too happy to verbally vivisect each other for no reason. The dialogue is witty at times, but it relies on more one-liners than a Schwarzenegger impersonator convention and the scenes with Baldwin in them are almost painful to watch.

I’ll never be able to escape the fandom of this nonsense. I’ve actually had people dare to come up to me and tell me that this is the best thing Fox has ever canceled. With a straight face, no less.

SO, I figure that I will do my best to snarkily destroy this over-dramatic and underwhelming waste of celluloid in a pseudo-Live Blog! I’ll try to do one episode every few days or so. I’ll be doing them in the order they are presented on Netflix Instant to save myself the headache of trying to figure out the order that that overrated B-movie writer Joss Whedon believes it should have been broadcast. It starts this weekend, so stay tuned.

Oh, and if you’re wondering about the Final Fantasy XIII review…it’s coming. Soon. I promise.

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